[Hyouga] Asakura, Lala [Chuunin]

[Archangel]

♠Name♠
Asakura Lala or Takashima Lala

♠Nickname♠
Kuro Shiro

[B]♠Age♠
17


♠Gender♠
Female

♠Height♠
5'4"

♠Weight♠
165lbs

♠Appearance♠

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg20/scaled.php?server=20&filename=arankmn.jpg&res=medium

Lala has natural long black hair reaching to her waist and light blue eyes, although this is how she appears in person her natural hair colour is blonde and her real eye purple just like the majority of the Asakura clan. She now wears blue contact lenses [wide lenses] and has a jutsu to change her hair colour, this is the reason for her current appearance. She wears a pitch black cloak with an up turned collar, under that cloak she wears a pitch black long sleeve top and pitch black jeans. The whole outfit looks like this:

http://www.ezcosplay.com/media/ezcosplay/darker than black/Hei Cosplay Costume from Darker than BLACK.jpgBut as black as the image above.

She now wears a mask and doesn't show her face much. She also wears black gloves and black boots. The mask is white and has purple markings on the left side.

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7146/6725441895_dc8b49ac90_z.jpg

♠Level/Rank♠
Chuunin

♠Village♠
Hyouga

♠Clan♠
Asakura clan (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?43017-Asakura-Clan-Notice-Board)
Takashima clan (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?51471-Takashima-Clan-Notice-Board)
Dao clan (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?38306-Dao-Clan-Dashboard)

♠Language♠
Hyougan[Fluent], Common [Fluent], Sati [Fluent with fake Sati accent]

♠Main/Favored Weapon♠
The blade is 3 feet long and is pure black and the hilt is 10cm long. The blade thickness is 5 cm and the blade material is hard steel. The handle material is wood. The sword is kept in her sealing cloak. (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?55884-Cloak-Sealing-cloak-Asakura-Lala&p=1623059#post1623059)

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7004/6734912241_8b88a9b3b4.jpg


♠Side Arms♠
2 Henge Braces (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?56054-Bracelet-Henge-Brace-Chaos-Control-Asakura-clan)
2 Hidden Blades (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?55990-Bracers-Hidden-Blade-Takashima-Lala), one on each arm
Link's Bow (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?47785-Event-Item-Link-s-Bow) sealed in a sealing necklace (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?47379-Necklace-Sealing-necklace-Asakura-clan&p=1404535#post1404535)
15 kunai made of flash metal (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?50432-Ore-Flash-Metal-Asakura-clan-Chaos-Control&p=1488251#post1488251) and vibrating metal (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?51262-Metal-Vibrating-metal-Asakura-clan&p=1510889#post1510889)
15 shuriken made of flash metal (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?50432-Ore-Flash-Metal-Asakura-clan-Chaos-Control&p=1488251#post1488251) and vibrating metal (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?51262-Metal-Vibrating-metal-Asakura-clan&p=1510889#post1510889)
A deck of card blades
20 Exploding cards
1 Mask made of flash metal (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?50432-Ore-Flash-Metal-Asakura-clan-Chaos-Control&p=1488251#post1488251) and vibrating metal (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?51262-Metal-Vibrating-metal-Asakura-clan&p=1510889#post1510889). The mask is non-magnetic.
1 Pandora's Blessings MKII (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?24217-Pills-Pandora-s-Blessing-MKII-Snow-Patrol&p=884678#post884678)
1 Pandora's box (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?19859-Custom-Item-Pandora-s-Box&p=724526#post724526) sealed in a sealing necklace (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?47379-Necklace-Sealing-necklace-Asakura-clan&p=1404535#post1404535)
1 Pandora's Blessing (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?22078-Pills-Pandora-s-Blessing-Snow-Patrol&p=807684#post807684)
Final Dreams (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?50577-Pocket-watch-Final-Dreams-Asakura-Misaki&highlight=)
1 Chaos suit (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?46863-Battle-suit-Chaos-Suit-Chaos-control&highlight=). Under neath her clothes. So she wears three layers

A wide lens (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?50448-Lens-Wide-lens-Chaos-control-Asakura-clan) in each eye
3 Hyper Pills (http://www.theninja-forum.com/Vbulletin/showpost.php?p=1401398&postcount=1)
Ointment
Ear plugs
A black cross she used to wear on her hair when she was a civilian.

♠Element♠
Katon and Hyouton

♠Fighting Type♠
Ninjutsu Specialist

♠Physical Strengths♠
-Excellent Strength
-Excellent Chakra pool
-Great Chakra control
-Great Endurance
-Great Stamina
-Good Speed

♠Physical Weaknesses♠24
-Absolutely Horrible Immune System (x3 Post Duration, No Activation times, Enhanced Symptoms
-Bad stealth [She just stands out way too much]
-Bad Sensitive eyesight:
-Bad smelling [Her nose is sensitive to foul odours. Her eyes become teary and her vision is a bit blurred making it a bit difficult to see]
-Very Bad sensitive Hearing [Sound attacks cause extra pain disorientation and than it would to the average person. Prolonged exposure makes her vomit]
-Bad flexibility
-Bad reflexes
-Very Bad resistance to heat [In hot environments she burns up way more stamina than usual. And can wear herself out in a matter of minutes]
-Very Bad Weakness to Katon [Horribly weak against fire, burns easily and does a lot more damage]

[B]♠Mental Strengths♠
-Excellent Concentration [She is capable of performing jutsu even under extreme pain or pressure]
-Good mental reactions
-Excellent Photographic memory: [She can remember exactly what happened or exactly what you said and repeat those words back to you]
-Excellent pain tolerance [Takes quite a lot to even make her say "Ouch"]

♠Mental Weaknesses♠
Abs.Horrible Impulsiveness: [She usually changes something about herself anytime she gets the chance.]
Abs. Horrible Recklessness [She takes really high risks]
Bad Claustrophobia [If she's in a small area for more than two posts, she has gets a panic attack. Losing focus of what she's doing and ]
Abs. Horrible tracking skills

♠Jutsu♠

♠Bloodline♠
Gyoukoten [Second Stage] (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1505024#post1505024)

Henge no Jutsu [Transformation Technique]
[Basic]Kawarimi no Jutsu [Body Switch Technique]
[Basic]Bunshin no Jutsu [Clone Technique]
[Basic]Kinobori [Tree Climbing][Mastered]
[Basic]Suimen Hokou no Gyou [Art of Water Walking][Mastered]
[Basic]Genjutsu Kai [Genjutsu Release][Mastered]

[D]Kasumi Jusha no Jutsu [Mist Servant Technique]
[D]Koe no Mozouhin [Voice Imitation]
[D]Utsusemi no Jutsu [Projection Technique]
[D]Souharigane no Jutsu [Wire Manipulation Technique]
[D]Hakken no Jutsu [Detection Technique]
[D]Sound Amplification (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?55973-Ninjutsu-Sound-Amplification-Takashima-Lala)
[D]

[C]Shunshin no Jutsu [Body Flicker Technique]
[C]Shintenshin no Jutsu [Art of the Valentine]
[C]Hair Control (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?55420-Special-Ability-Hair-Control)
[C]Adept Wire Manipulation (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?49010-Sato-Adept-Wire-Manipulation-Asakura-Ryuuko)
[C]Independence (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?56036-Special-Ability-Independence-Takashima-Lala)
[C]

[B]Shinranshin no Jutsu [Mind Body Disturbance Technique]
[B]Katon: Kaen Torappu [Fire Release: Flame Trap]
[B]Katon: Re-Za [Fire Release: Laser]
[B]Echoed Screech (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?50580-Ninjutsu-Echoed-Screech-Asakura-clan)
[B]

[A] Fuzen Bunshin (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?52293-Ninjutsu-OMOB-Clone)

♠Things to note♠
Seishou [Spirit] (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?51143-More-Miscellaneous-Linkage&p=1507826#post1507826)
Even though her eyes are purple, when she uses her bloodline abilities her eyes turn red. For some reason the Dao blood in her awakens; this is purely aesthetic and does not mean she has two bloodlines.


[B]♠Background♠:
Lala had and Asakura for a father and a Takashima as her mother. Her father was a retired shinobi and started selling cosplay costumes and her mother was an active shinobi; together the three of them lived happily with no issues or problems with their lives. Then on Lala's fifth birthday, she and her father waited for her mother's return from a mission involving the capture of a Missing-nin but by the end of that day they had recieved the news of her death. Apparently she had sacrificed herself in order to help her fellow team mates, but in the end the missing-nin escaped. Lala was only just five but all she understood was that her mum was gone forever and wouldn't be coming back.

By the time she was ten, Lala's father then had to come out of retirement because his costume sales weren't going to well and he had to get some money in order for them to maintain their life-style. Lala was afraid of losing her father as well but she would not discourage him because she knew he'd go on anyway. He went on a few missions and came back safely but each time he left she always feared he would not return. One day he had to go on an S-rank mission and it was going to take a few months, in the mean time she was left in he care of the head of the Asakura clan's Hyougan branch, Yuki. While her father was on the mission she lived on in the mansion then another day the confirmed his death. So she was adopted by Yuki and kept on living with him.

While she was there she had met Ekaterina Naito, a lot of things happened and they were close, but Echo kept leaving and it would be a while before she heard from her again. In order not to feel sad in case the news of her death came one day she distanced herself from her. Then during one of Echo's visits she was kidnapped by Pedobear and Echo rescued her; while Lala was in her room she saw Echo leaving the house once again. She tried to keep her emotions in check but she couldn't help but shed tears. That day she decided, no more crying or waiting; she was going to protect the people she cared about by any means necessary whether medical techniques or Fighting skills. Even if it meant being a shinobi herself.

She did not train with the Asakura, instead she trained with the Takashima clan and then met her Grandmother who was part of the Dao clan. She kept it a secret from the Asakura clan as she did so, because she didn't think anyone would approve of her decision but she had already made it and refused to turn back. To protect others she needed to do this.

[Archangel]

I had permission to join the Takashima clan.

Proof: My W.I.P character name was added (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?51471-Takashima-Clan-Notice-Board) and here is the W.I.P character (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?50492-Ex-Hyouga-Asakura-Misaki-B-rank-MN). I said I might change her name later, so I have.

EDIT: Oh, and here is Akari's retirement thread (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?55857-The-Ending-and-a-New-Beginning)[She haz babies to take care of =w=]

[Decadence]

o.O

Lala from the future?

[Archano]

- Smell is only allowed as a weakness as sensitivity.

- Absolutely Horrible Sight is complete blindness, you sight weakness falls slightly short of Horrible in detriments.

- Having poor "Long Range" Accuracy is already covered by your sight weakness. That would need to be accuracy in general, especially considering it as Absolutely Horrible. The note beside it regarding your eyesight also should be removed considering any issue with accuracy hindered by eyesight is negated by a slotless item on your profile.

- I believe you accidentally copied your Physical Weaknesses into your Mental Strengths section.

- All of your mental weaknesses seem fairly conditional and not appropriately tiered for most profiles, however, without mental strengths to compare them to, there's no method to judge.

[Archangel]

o.O

Lala from the future?

No, Lala from the now. I have my plans. >=]


- Smell is only allowed as a weakness as sensitivity.

- Absolutely Horrible Sight is complete blindness, you sight weakness falls slightly short of Horrible in detriments.

- Having poor "Long Range" Accuracy is already covered by your sight weakness. That would need to be accuracy in general, especially considering it as Absolutely Horrible. The note beside it regarding your eyesight also should be removed considering any issue with accuracy hindered by eyesight is negated by a slotless item on your profile.

- I believe you accidentally copied your Physical Weaknesses into your Mental Strengths section.

- All of your mental weaknesses seem fairly conditional and not appropriately tiered for most profiles, however, without mental strengths to compare them to, there's no method to judge.

-I did not put in absolutely horrible sight >_>

-Not necessarily, even if it's blurry she can still make you out enough to throw stuff at you.

-Yes I did. Fixed u_u;;

-Thank you for your crits

[Decadence]

Interesting.

Alright then, how about links to clan pages, and also an update to your bloodline's page.

Also, I'm inclined to ask for more to the background. It trails off with what seems like a decision to become a ninja, but if she's ranked Chuunin, then she's had her fair share of ninja life already. Maybe enlighten us some?

Oh, and double check your appearence pic? The spoiler doesn't open for me (first pic).

[LightKage]

I'm going to request that a Takashima [preferably Shiy or Juni if I can grab ahold of her] be given again, since S/W were changed, as well as the background from the time initial approval was given.

Seems like a butthole move, but my request is a legitimate one.

[Garzett]

What Light said.

It has been a minimal of 6 months since consent was given [and the information was sort of wrong, since it was not elite jounin, but I digress]. I would like this to be verified one way or another.

[Archangel]

Links added. Since Juni never comes on msn anymore, I sent a pm explaining the situation to Shiy. Hopefully I can still join the clan o.o;;

EDIT: On another note, Verdandi has given me permission to join the Dao clan.

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7008/6732827317_a18b1ebfea.jpg

[Shiyana]

Since I have no reason to think that Archangel is lying about gaining Clanship from Juni, admission to the Takashima Clan is given.

As the Takashima Clan Representative, I welcome you to the Takashima Clan

-Shiyana

P.S. your link for the bloodline is 'broken' and someone to RP with... :]

[Archangel]

@ Shiyana: Thank you ^^

So there you have it, the admissions have been given and the link is fixed. Is there anything else?

[Decadence]

That mask you mention in her appearance. Can you give some details about it?


The sword is kept in her sealing cloak.
Which sealing cloak? I can't find this item anywhere.


The cue for mist servant technique is any sound that comes from her mouth.
Could you choose something a little more specific?


-Horrible stealth [She just stands out way too much]
-Horrible Long-sightedness [Everything past 10 meters is blurry]
These most certainly don't balance the strengths you chose. Stealth normally doesn't balance higher than bad, and I'm not seeing why in this case there should be an exception.

"Horrible" for a sight weakness is a tier below complete blindness. Things becoming blurry at over thirty feet away is not a horrible weakness. I would consider that one "Bad" as well.

[Archangel]

That mask you mention in her appearance. Can you give some details about it?


Which sealing cloak? I can't find this item anywhere.


Could you choose something a little more specific?


These most certainly don't balance the strengths you chose. Stealth normally doesn't balance higher than bad, and I'm not seeing why in this case there should be an exception.

"Horrible" for a sight weakness is a tier below complete blindness. Things becoming blurry at over thirty feet away is not a horrible weakness. I would consider that one "Bad" as well.

-I was going to apply for that.
-The masks details are in the side-arms. It's made of vibrating and flash metal. I'll add a image
-This character (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?41813-Konoki-Jounin-Anbu-Jinnu-Kiyoshi&p=1246474#post1246474) has Abs. Horrible stealth. So it should qualify as a weakness the way it is.
-As for the sight weakness I meant to put 10ft. Would that be okay?

[Decadence]

-I was going to apply for that.
-The masks details are in the side-arms. It's made of vibrating and flash metal. I'll add a image
-This character (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?41813-Konoki-Jounin-Anbu-Jinnu-Kiyoshi&p=1246474#post1246474) has Abs. Horrible stealth. So it should qualify as a weakness the way it is.
-As for the sight weakness I meant to put 10ft. Would that be okay?

Since you don't have it yet, and may not ever, would you mind removing it for the time being? I don't think this can be stamped otherwise.

Edit: Never mind. I see it's been approved now.

I meant that it should have a more detailed written appearance. A mask could look like anything ^^;;

That's an rpc from 2010... even before I was a member. The rules are different now, and stealth is - for the most part - capped at "Bad".

Bad to Very Bad imo.

[Garzett]

That character was accepted and approved 1 and a half years ago. The rules have long since changed. If you're going to pull precedence, at least make sure it's up to date and valid. Older applications tend to fall under what is called the "grandfather clause" - that is, they're old, and were approved under old rules. Forcefully pulling old profiles is frowned upon, so it is left alone. In short, pulling precedence in general to say "they got it, why can't I" is a bad idea.

Stealth cannot exist as a weakness worse than bad under current rules. There is no way around it. Additionally, "standing out" is an inadequate description to how you're that bad at stealth. "Clumsy and always tripping/cracking loudly on things like creaky floorboards/etc" would be more accurate.


-Abs. Horrible Long-range accuracy
-Horrible stealth [She just stands out way too much]
-Horrible Long-sightedness [Everything past 10 feet is blurry]
-Bad Sensitive eyesight: [Blinding flashes blind her for one more post]
-Bad smelling [Her nose is sensitive to foul odours]
-Abs. Horrible Haemophilia

Moreover, all 3 of these weaknesses are eyesight/range related... More specifically, Abs. Horrible Accuracy and Long-sightedness. Both of those are essentially the same thing. If you cannot see further than 10 meters [which, I might add, is still quite a decent distance for a majority of situations, meaning I would personally count it as no more than bad], it goes without saying that you're not good at ranged combat.

Tl;dr: Combine or remove one of those weaknesses.

Edit: Apologies that I had to do this, but I noticed a problem. Pulled Wide Lens (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?50448-Lens-Wide-lens-Chaos-control-Asakura-clan). Sorry for any inconveniences.

[Archangel]

Even Yuki has Abs. Horrible stealth and it was 2011 >_>

I've made the edits to her weaknesses. I've also made the edits to the wide lens if you haven't seen.

[Archangel]

OKay, bump time. *needs to train jutsu before WT* o-o

[Verdandi]

Permission for Dao Clan given.

Have fun hun

[Envy]

The item final dreams says it can be used as a genjutsu cue for Mist servant and nothing else and whoever owns it can't have any other cue for mist servant. SO you either remove the item or the clause in things to note about the cue being her voice.

[Archangel]

It is done.

[Garzett]

Ok, giving this a look. Just a few last things from me.


She can lip read

This is a mental strength and needs to be listed as one. It is considered to be "Good".


♠Mental Strengths♠
-Excellent pain tolerance [She won't even flinch]
-Great mental reactions
-Great Genjutsu detection [By paying a lot of attention to details and her environment, she is quick to realize that he is under genjutsu, when affected by it.]
-Very good Intelligence
-Great Photographic memory: [She can remember exactly what happened or exactly what you said and repeat those words back to you]
-Extremely Focused: When there's an immediate goal she will concentrate on accomplishing it.

♠Mental Weaknesses♠
Abs. Horrible Masochism: She will hurt herself sometimes just to feel the pleasure of pain.
Horrible Implusiveness: She usually changes something about herself anytime she gets the chance.
Horrible Kleptomania[She has always has the irresistable urge to steal something, even if they are of trivial value or she doesn't need them]
Horrible Superiority complex: She thinks she's better than everyone else, even if she loses she still thinks she's better than you.
A bit of a short temper
Horrible at displaying emotions

Your mental strengths far outweigh your mental weaknesses. I'm going to have to ask for your strengths to be lessened by quite a bit. You have pretty much every decent mental strength and only personality dysfunctions as weaknesses - which is fine, we are a bit more lenient with mentals now, since they're a bit harder to balance... but this is definitely way too much.

Additionally, your genjutsu strength - I don't like it. It's basically giving you excuse to know whenever you're in a genjutsu. I can't say I'm a fan. =/ Slight detection is okay, having it listed as a great strength the scopes of what you have now... that's pretty much negating an entire fighting style below A-rank. Genjutsu is meant to be deceptive and tricky. You're taking that away, and subsequently allowing yourself to be set for Gen Kai in almost any situation.

So... going to have to ask for your mental strengths to be toned down by a lot, please.

Besides that, this is fine. The history was quite interesting.

[Archangel]

Okay I edited the weakness but I'm not sure if its any better. I got that weakness from Revan but I've toned it down to good and I also had lip reading as an extra in Akari's profile but I'e taken it out completely now. Is it okay now?

[Garzett]

-Excellent pain tolerance [She won't even flinch]
-Great mental reactions
-Great Photographic memory: [She can remember exactly what happened or exactly what you said and repeat those words back to you]

^^ Much better, but I'm going to have to insist that a few tiers be taken off of these specifically.

Also, I noticed something I overlooked before. >.< Photographic memory is actually considered an excellent tier strength, since it's the highest your memory can achieve, not a great one. You may wish to revise that if you want to keep it.

[Archangel]

How about now?

[Garzett]

Now I say yes. B/c yes.


http://img695.imageshack.us/img695/8086/approvedstamp1.png



Remember to obey the RPG Rules. (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?42104)
Remember to RP your strengths and weaknesses accurately.
Remember to update the Population Thread (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?39923) and/or the Bingo Book (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?51297).
If you have any further questions or comments, you can post them in the RPG Suggestions and Questions (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=61) Subsection.

[Zaulyl]

Reopened upon request.

[Decadence]

Uhh..

You should probably wait till after the mission you're currently in to edit this, Arch.

[Archangel]

@Zau: Thanks ^^

@Deca: I can't do that. I have to do it before it ends, it saves time. In case of confusion, I have put the original S/W in that thread. Those are the only things I've changed.

Made changes to S/W.

[Random]

The ones you're looking for are 'Bad Sight Sensitivity' and 'Bad Smell Sensitivity'. They're more accurate than the ones you have there currently.

The immunity to pain is a no go. No matter your argument pain tolerance is your best bet to get this effect and the only way to even get close. Note however that pain tolerance can't make you immune to pain. Currently you're not allowed such a thing.

Your Very Bad resistance to heat seems more of a Bad the way you've worded it, take out the word bit and it'll read like a Very Bad to me.

Horrible at displaying emotions seems more like a strength to me (you can hide them well) and Impulsiveness Loyalty and Trusting of others seem more like personality quirks. You're going to need a few more battle related weaknesses for this to be acceptable considering most of your strengths are battle related.


I didn't look at anything else cos you only said you changed s/w so thar o.o

[Decadence]

-Very Bad flexibility
-Bad reflexes
-Good mental reactions

In addition, flexibility is capped at 'Bad'.

Also, because this has been bothering me awhile now: How do you distinguish mental reactions from reflexes? I hate to call you out on this, but I saw you took poor reflexes and really good mental reactions for that summon Akari had, and the way you rp'ed it made it seem like the mental strength made up for the physical weakness.

Edit:
I almost forgot. This:

-Very Bad resistance to heat [In hot environments she uses up a bit more stamina than usual]
While I can attest to it being a real weakness, it doesn't help balance this character any. Kuro is a ninjutsu specialist who doesn't have a single taijutsu in her jutsu list. Using up a bit more stamina than usual doesn't effect her. At all, really.

[Spacemaker]

Disagree with random on immunity to pain. Give a good reason or just say she has CIPA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_insensitivity_to_pain_with_anhidrosis) My RPC feels nothing, but then again she isn't exactly alive.

[Archangel]

The ones you're looking for are 'Bad Sight Sensitivity' and 'Bad Smell Sensitivity'. They're more accurate than the ones you have there currently.

The immunity to pain is a no go. No matter your argument pain tolerance is your best bet to get this effect and the only way to even get close. Note however that pain tolerance can't make you immune to pain. Currently you're not allowed such a thing.

Your Very Bad resistance to heat seems more of a Bad the way you've worded it, take out the word bit and it'll read like a Very Bad to me.

Horrible at displaying emotions seems more like a strength to me (you can hide them well) and Impulsiveness Loyalty and Trusting of others seem more like personality quirks. You're going to need a few more battle related weaknesses for this to be acceptable considering most of your strengths are battle related.


I didn't look at anything else cos you only said you changed s/w so thar o.o

I disagree to immunity to pain and will state why further down in this post. The little will be removed and as for the other mental weaknesses they were stamped that way o-o


In addition, flexibility is capped at 'Bad'.

Also, because this has been bothering me awhile now: How do you distinguish mental reactions from reflexes? I hate to call you out on this, but I saw you took poor reflexes and really good mental reactions for that summon Akari had, and the way you rp'ed it made it seem like the mental strength made up for the physical weakness.

Edit:
I almost forgot. This:

While I can attest to it being a real weakness, it doesn't help balance this character any. Kuro is a ninjutsu specialist who doesn't have a single taijutsu in her jutsu list. Using up a bit more stamina than usual doesn't effect her. At all, really.

Mental reactions: You see, brain thinks really quickly, you control body movement.
Reflexes: You turn around you see a rock heading for you, your body kind of moves instantly.

Reflexes have to do with the body while mental reactions have to do with the mind. Mental reaction is just your brain if you can't move your body fast enough then it won't make a difference; so I believe something like Excellent mental reactions+ Excellent Agility = Excellent Reflexes.

Also stamina isn't just used when using taijutsu techniques. If I fight a tai-spec like Echo, obviously you'd try to get in close and if that ever happens I have to use stamina or if I fight a nin-spec as well and a jutsu is cast, stamina would have to be used to try and escape. o-o


Disagree with random on immunity to pain. Give a good reason or just say she has CIPA (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_insensitivity_to_pain_with_anhidrosis) My RPC feels nothing, but then again she isn't exactly alive.

Mine is kind of the same thing except she feels temperature and for the stamina dropping down in hot environments thing to apply, I just can't feel pain. This is an actual condition, so i fail to see why she can't have it anyway =/

[LightKage]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_insensitivity_to_pain

this is what you probably are looking for with the least clinically heavy explanation. And when it says rare, its RARE. And more of a hell than a blessing, but I'm not here to get into the mechanics of it.

Secondly, I tried getting such with Kaito and was shot down on the pretenses that some members of the staff aren't in general agreence with having a decreased or negated sensitivity to pain in a non-jutsu related way [Read: S/W].

[Garzett]

Limited time, so I'm just posting to call shenanigans on something.


Also stamina isn't just used when using taijutsu techniques. If I fight a tai-spec like Echo, obviously you'd try to get in close and if that ever happens I have to use stamina or if I fight a nin-spec as well and a jutsu is cast, stamina would have to be used to try and escape. o-o

Your weakness is far too weak to be counted as anything more than below average.

My temperature weakness, for reference:


(Very Bad) Cold Tolerance [All physical attributes continuously lower by a tier each post when exposed to cold temperatures and are slowly regained each post when unexposed... and is more prone to suffering from frostbite and hypothermia. Violent shivering and involuntary spasms occur during prolonged exposure to the cold.]

Yours is nowhere near very bad. Especially since you don't even use stamina like a taijutsu specialized character does. It's borderline fake. If it's going to count for balance, it needs to be a legitimate weakness.

Also, your pain weakness just is not going to work.


Sensitivity to Pain is always mental. If you want a physical aspect, use endurance. No, we will not make an exception just for you.

You may wish to seriously revise this.

[Archangel]

How about now?

[Spacemaker]

♠Fighting Type♠
Ninjutsu Specialist

♠Physical Strengths♠
-Excellent Strength
-Excellent Chakra pool
-Great Chakra control
-Great Endurance
-Great Stamina
-Good Speed

♠Physical Weaknesses♠24
-Absolutely Horrible Immune System (x3 Post Duration, No Activation times, Enhanced Symptoms
-Bad stealth [She just stands out way too much]
-Bad Sensitive eyesight:
-Bad smelling [Her nose is sensitive to foul odours] <- Fakish.
-Very Bad Hearing [Sound attacks cause a lot more damage than it would to the average person. This does not mean she has super hearing, that is average.]
-Bad flexibility
-Bad reflexes
-Very Bad resistance to heat [In hot environments she burns up way more stamina than usual. And can wear herself out in a matter of minutes]
-Very Bad Weakness to Katon [Horribly weak against fire, burns easily and does allot more damage]

[B]♠Mental Strengths♠
-Excellent Concentration [She is capable of performing jutsu even under extreme pain or pressure]
-Good mental reactions
-Good Genjutsu detection Don't believe you can be good at detecting genjutsus unless you are a gen-spec and even then I believe you can only have a weakness, not an affinity.
-Very good Intelligence
-Excellent Photographic memory: [She can remember exactly what happened or exactly what you said and repeat those words back to you]
-Excellent pain tolerance [Takes quite a lot to even make her say "Ouch"]

[B]♠Mental Weaknesses♠

Abs.Horrible Implusiveness: She usually changes something about herself anytime she gets the chance. Not AH
Abs. Horrible Kleptomania[She has always has the irresistable urge to steal something, even if they are of trivial value. She could probably steal your trash] Not AH
Horrible Loyalty [Only loyal to a handful, there's a chance she'll stab you in the back] Kinda true for everyone, especially when you are a Missing Nin
A bit of a short temper
Horrible at displaying emotions Weakness? As a ninja? ROFLcopter.
Abs. Horrible trusting off others



Stuff in red. might have missed something.

[Decadence]

I had an earlier message here, but I don't feel like arguing technicalities. There are some things that need fixing, though:


-Bad smelling [Her nose is sensitive to foul odours]
Could you explain on the app how foul odours affect her?
---
4 of your 6 mental strengths are specificly combat related, while all of your weaknesses are merely personality quirks. You could do a better job of balancing that section. >.<

Also, how do you figure "Horrible at displaying emotions " is a mental weakness?

And finally, I agree with what Space said about your "loyalty" weakness for the most part. That weakness rates 'Below Average' with that wording. Contrary to what Space said, though, a Genjutsu detection strength is allowed.

[Spacemaker]

Yea talked with someone about that. Ability to recognize a genjutsu is fine, just no post reduction in it.

[Archangel]

Question: If I put everything back to the way it was can it be re-stamped? o-o

[Garzett]

I'm afraid not.

Either way, your mentals seem to be the biggest concern area right now. Just rework those and it should be good to go [I believe the earlier crits cover it]. You have too many combat strengths maxed out and pretty much no combat weaknesses.

[Garzett]

Status on this? No response from the original poster in a while.

48 hours before I move this to WIP.

[Garzett]

Moved.

If you would like it pulled back out, just PM a moderator or post again.

[Archangel]

Can this go back to the shinobi section, please.

[Archangel]

Bump...I edited this before I went prone o-o

[Spacemaker]

[CENTER]


-Good Genjutsu detection I'm curious, if someone is greater then you or very subtle with their genjutsu's this doesn't let you metagame your situation correct?

[B]♠Mental Weaknesses♠
Abs.Horrible Impulsiveness: [She usually changes something about herself anytime she gets the chance. Due to this she uses her ability to change her hair color about three times in every post i.e three E ranked chakra per post except when knocked out or sleeping obviously] Seems a bit silly of an example. I'd expect she would never be one to follow orders and simply do as she pleases?
Abs. Horrible Recklessness [She seems to have no regard for her well being at all.] just remember at AH recklessness. Running away is a VERY rare situation. Also coincides well with being stupid.
Horrible Loyalty [Only loyal to a handful, there's a chance she'll stab you in the back]
A bit of a short temper
Abs. Horrible trusting off others kinda the same as loyalty. Also somewhat weak on the balancing spectrum When compared to your str.


Stuff in red.

[Archangel]

1. No, it just means that she will eventually find out it's a genjutsu if it goes on for too long, but most genjutsu are like 2-3 posts and with this skill I thought of only detecting low ranked genjutsu C and below.

2. There are rpcs that follow rules, mine is one that doesn't. You probably expect that because you've rped with me numerous times.

3. I changed the last one.

Is it ok now?

[enkou]

-Bad Sensitive eyesight: [Blinding flashes blind her for one more post]
-Bad smelling [Her nose is sensitive to foul odours]
-Very Bad Hearing [Sound attacks cause a lot more damage than it would to the average person. This does not mean she has super hearing, that is average.]Can you detail these a bit? Why exactly are these bad and very bad weaknesses rather. For a bad sensitive sight weakness for example, I would probably expect all bright lights to hurt. An extra post to a flash bomb just sounds Below Average to be perfectly honest. Same goes for smell and hearing, why are these labled the way they are. Go into detail as to how your RPC is effected and why they are considered weaknesses to balance things such as endurance, stamina and speed.


-Good Genjutsu detection [By paying a lot of attention to details and her environment, she is quick to realize that he is under genjutsu, when affected by it.]
I can't say I like this one... your going to have to get a second opinion though if you want to keep it


Abs. Horrible tracking skillsAlmost all of the strengths you have are combat related. If the majority of your strengths are combat related they should be balanced with mostly combat related weaknesses, yet these are mostly all personality types. Can you fix this?

[Archangel]

Hi Enki! =D

I've made the edits on the first part. I hope it's a lot better please tell me if it's not.

I think I'll wait for a second opinion on the second one and as for the last bit, it may sound a bit silly but I really don't know how any other battle related mental weaknesses.Would adding a phobia of something reasonable be ok?

[enkou]

Only if the phobia is something fairly common and something that would trigger in battle. A phobia to squirrels for example wouldn't be ok. Also, that's one weakness. Your going to need at the very minimum, half your weaknesses rounded up to be something that effects you im combat for me to be comfortable with having so many combat related strengths. Your probally going to have to rework your strengths a bit if you cant find acceptable weaknesses for them.

[Archangel]

I edited some stuff.

[Yuki Aisu]

Gonna break things down. Comments in red.


♠Mental Strengths♠
-Excellent Concentration [She is capable of performing jutsu even under extreme pain or pressure]
-Good mental reactions
-Excellent Photographic memory: [She can remember exactly what happened or exactly what you said and repeat those words back to you] This is two strengths in one. Perfect Audio Recall and Photographic Memory are not the same. Photographic means 'relating to a photo'. That's completely visual, so lumping in perfect audio recall is not going to fly.
-Excellent pain tolerance [Takes quite a lot to even make her say "Ouch"]

Three of these are battle-only, and the photographic/audio recall thing is a very strong trait that is very handy in battle.

♠Mental Weaknesses♠
Abs.Horrible Impulsiveness: [She usually changes something about herself anytime she gets the chance.] I've seen you RP. You never seem to do this, and if you do, it's completely trivial and never has any consequences. It seems very fake and has almost no bearing in battle.
Abs. Horrible Recklessness [She takes really high risks] Give me an example. Again, I've seen you RP. This seems fake.
Bad Claustrophobia [If she's in a small area for more than two posts, she has gets a panic attack. Losing focus of what she's doing and ] You didn't finish this sentence.
Abs. Horrible tracking skills Almost never comes into play. It's not at all combat related and you can avoid it completely and never have to deal. It's only one step up from 'can't swim'.

Of the four weaknesses, the phobia is decent, but the other ones are very questionable and often not directly battle related or combat-intensive.

In essence, you've got a very combat-oriented and strong set of mental strengths balanced by very conditional and questionable mental weaknesses. That's the problem right now.

[Garzett]

Stop.

Just stop. Stop doing what you're doing. Stop cramming all of the super awesome excellent strengths in there.

It'll make your profile that much easier to approve. This has been sitting here for a long time. I'll be frank. You're taking /everything/ as high as possible and attempting to do everything within your power to get it approved with the most conditional, fake, and BS'd weaknesses around. Your profile, right now, is a prime example of several issues wrong with our current S/W System.

Please reconsider your S/W's entirely. Stick with what defines your character and leave it at that. There's no need to cram everything in like this.

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm only making this comment to try and help you get this approved.

[Garzett]

The new patch is out. You may want to revise this so that it is up to date.

[Mishio]

Any interest in this? It's been over a month since the last post, and you haven't even been on.

*noms anvil*

[Garzett]

Moved to WIP.