PDA

View Full Version : [Academy Student] Niigata, Naomi (Sato)[WIP]



Naom
05-04-2012, 02:56
Name: Niigata Naomi

Age: 15

Gender: Female

Height: 5'4

Weight: 110

Appearance:

Whilst beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it hard to doubt the beauty that this female possesses.Her hair is a cherry blossom pink color and extremely long, falling roughly to the middle of her back. It is mainly straight, however, at the ends it begins to curl up slightly. She also has short bangs that fall down her face, however, they end above her eyebrows. Her face is heart shaped, being wider at the forehead and narrowing down into a small and delicate chin. Located on her face are her eyes, which are a bright ocean blue color, similar to that of water you would find in a tropical location. They are naturally almond shaped and shrouded with thick, dark lashes and a pair of thin, pink eyebrows. Below her eyes is her nose, which is relatively small and also her lips, which are rather thin and hide her pair of pearly whites.

Her body is relatively feminine looking with narrow shoulders and a narrow waist with widened hips. Her arms are covered in small scars from kunai or shuriken, however that is the price she had to pay for training. They cover her muscles, which are relatively small and sinewy compared to the buffness of a majority of men. Her stomach is flat and well toned, however it has a scar that goes across it, though it's thin, from a battle she had not that long ago. Her breasts are well developed for a girl her age, being around a C-D cup and they tend to get in her way sometimes, so she always bandages them so they tend to look smaller.

Her outfit consists of a simple black kimono with a purple sash wrapped around her waist and purple trimming the edges of the outfit. She also wears bandages on her breast and has fishnet on her right thigh and her left knee. Her sandals are the typical shinobi sandals, save hers are black and not blue.

Level/Rank: Academy Student

Village: Sato

Clan: N/A

Language: Sati (Fluent), Common (Heavy Accent)

Main/Favored Weapon:

http://local.coldweapon.org/pics/practical-katana.jpg] Simple Katana with black hilt. 26 1/2 inches long. (http://local.coldweapon.org/pics/practical-katana.jpg)

Side Arms:

Kunai x 4
Shuriken x 3
Exploding Notes x 7
Soldier Pill x 1
Ointment x 2
Medical kit x 1 (Contains bandages/wrapping and a few sterilized needles)
Element: Raiton

Fighting Type: Ninjutsu Specialist [Is it possible for her to become a medical specialist in the future? Cause that is what I planned for her to be]

Physical Strengths:
- Great Chakra Control
- Very Good Chakra Pool
- Good Speed
- Good Reflexes
- Good Agility

Physical Weaknesses:
- Horrible Accuracy (with small projectiles)
- Very bad Strength
- Bad Cold Tolerance (Slows down Speed and Reaction time and can lead to violent shivers)
- Bad Flexibility
- Bad Endurance

Mental Strengths:
- Great intelligence
- Very good strategist
- Good Optimisim
- Good Teamwork

Mental Weaknesses:
- Horrible temper
- Very bad pain tolerance
- Bad at Genjutsu (+1 post, +1 Kai Delay)
- Bad Over confidence

Jutsu:
Mandatory: Kawarimi, Henge and Bunshin.

Raiton: Seiteki Shokku [Lightning Release: Static Shock]
Rank: D
Requirements: A metal object.
Description: By focusing chakra into a metal object, the user can supply the object with a small charge that will cause a static shock to the next person who touches it; this applies to the user as well. This shock will be strong enough to cause a sudden jolt in the affected.

Denkyuu [Light bulb]
Rank: D
Requirements: None.
Description: After performing the needed hand seals, a ball of light, about the size of a baseball, will appear in the hand of the user. This would allow them to see better when traveling around at night. It will wear away after five minutes of use.

Background:

Sample Post:

Mishio
05-04-2012, 03:05
Main/Favored Weapon:

http://local.coldweapon.org/pics/practical-katana.jpg] Simple Katana with black hilt. 26 1/2 inches long. (http://local.coldweapon.org/pics/practical-katana.jpg) You're not allowed to leave describing anything to just a picture; images can become unavalible all too easily. You're going to need to describe the weapon's type, dimensions, material, and so on.


Side Arms:

Kunai x 4
Shuriken x 3
Exploding Notes x 7
Soldier Pill x 1
Ointment x 2
Medical kit x 1 (Contains bandages/wrapping and a few sterilized needles)Where does she keep these things?


Fighting Type: Ninjutsu Specialist [Is it possible for her to become a medical specialist in the future? Cause that is what I planned for her to be]You're not allowed to pick your rpc's fighting type until genin. As for becoming a medical ninja, that requires special training, see posts 6-8 of this thread for details[/QUOTE]


Physical Strengths:
- Great Chakra Control
- Very Good Chakra Pool
- Good Speed
- Good Reflexes
- Good Agility

Physical Weaknesses:
- Horrible Accuracy (with small projectiles)
- Very bad Strength
- Bad Cold Tolerance (Slows down Speed and Reaction time and can lead to violent shivers)
- Bad Flexibility
- Bad EnduranceIt seems a little over powered to me in terms of the comparitive severity of the strengths and weaknesses, but not by very much.

While it's still a WIP, you did a pretty good job with what you've already done. Welcome to TNF. ^^

*noms anvil*

Azure
08-04-2012, 13:36
Indeed, welcome to TNF! I hope you enjoy your time here, and hopefully we'll see you stick around.

Now, to help out with a little critique..
(bare with me, much of this may be overruled by the staff)

You might want to edit that weapon image link as such:
From this:
http://local.coldweapon.org/pics/practical-katana.jpg][/b] Simple Katana with black hilt. 26 1/2 inches long. (http://local.coldweapon.org/pics/practical-katana.jpg)

..to this:
Simple Katana with black hilt (http://local.coldweapon.org/pics/practical-katana.jpg).

As Mishi said, you do have to be more descriptive with main weapon materials..
(example: it has a steel blade with a wooden handle.)
The rules for swords (http://www.theninja-rpg.com/forums/showthread.php?17880-Blade-Rules) also state:

Single Blades:

Academy Students: Training Blade (2ft long wooden blade OR 1ft long sharp blade)
Not sure if there's an exception for blunt metal blades at 2 feet, but I'm sure you can't go longer than 24 inches for the blade..


Side Arms:
Ointment x 2
Medical kit x 1 (Contains bandages/wrapping and a few sterilized needles)
What kind of Ointment? (An antibacterial, like Neosporin? Does it have a numbing agent?)
By needles, you mean suture needles for stitches, right?


Physical Weaknesses:
- Bad Cold Tolerance (Slows down Speed and Reaction time and can lead to violent shivers)
Just a heads up; some people are irked by temperature and climate weaknesses on Academy Students as they usually don't leave the academy to go to places where it will affect them until they rank up, however, it's often asked that you give an elaboration of temperature or climate (be it approximate temperature range, or "in the snow") and sometimes even how long it takes to affect them..


Mental Weaknesses:
- Horrible temper
- Bad at Genjutsu (+1 post, +1 Kai Delay)
- Bad Over confidence
I think you meant "Bad against (or resistance to) Genjutsu", yeah?
You also might need to elaborate on how her temper and overconfidence affect her.

Garzett
15-05-2012, 14:06
Moved to work in progress, since it's gone so long without a response from the original poster.

If you'd like it moved back, don't hesitate to drop me a PM or repost in here. ^^;